March 4, 2010

Some Facebook Status Updates are Worth a Mention - 108

  • Was today a fairytale, Taylor Swift? Why don't you say it one more time just in case!!!
  • is SICK of all these SODA TAX commercials. What's next? A tax on cheeseburgers and mozzerella sticks? How about pepperoni pizza and ice cream too? Better yet, why doesn't the government subsidize my $150 monthly gym membership if they really care about heatlh
  • Some of you girls have the most nauseating status updates, keep that stuff between you and the meathead your dating for all that is holy...
  • sooo Lil Wayne is never goin to jail, aye??
  • You should come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo until I Google all over your Facebook....write that down.
  • Dear Cablevision... I beg you not to take away Channel 7! I can't handle that loss in my life. I will cry like a baby because I can't get any other service in this apartment! Why must you stress me out like this???
  • What's the Febreze limit on a shirt before having to actually wash it?
  • Hey Thursday. When are you gonna get your life together and be more like Friday?
  • It's 12am & people are taking "Friend Quizzes" about me & posting them on my wall. GO TO BED!!!
  • I've been picking my split ends since I was 15... why haven't I found them all yet? Such a classy habit, I know...
  • Dear Chick in the Front Row of Spin - While I'm sure the Hello Kitty underwear keeps you young at heart, you may want to pair them with non see-through exercise tights next time. Sincerely, The Chick on the Bike in Back of You.
  • I just watched a commercial for an antidepressant that was itself so depressing that I am typing this from beneath my desk, where I am curled up in the fetal position and making faint mewing sounds. Now THAT's what I call irony, Alanis.
  • Anti-gay politician gets DUI. After leaving gay bar.