April 30, 2010

NJ vs. FL Round 4

I love it when the Floridians tell me that I need to get over my fear of lizards. I will not. I cannot. They are weird, fast and unattractive.

When I first moved here, I was unpacking some kitchen supplies, and walked over to the dining room area to open the shades to the backyard for some natural Florida sunlight. As soon as I lifted the blinds (floor to ceiling) - my friend from Geico popped up from underneath the rug and said "Good Morning." I FLIPPED the eff out, grabbed my cell phone and ran out the front door. My boyfriend was still sleeping upstairs and I did not want to be in the house with a lizard running rampant. Long story short, we may or may not have performed a private funeral for Larry the Lizard.

So these Floridians tell me that I'll get used to lizards and that they're my friends because they kill the bugs. They're my FRIENDS because they kill bugs? C'mon now. Do you know what that's like? That's like telling me that the police are our friends because they keep killers off the streets. Really?? Well, are they your friends when they're pulling you over for speeding? No. So sure, lizards can Facebook friend request me for all I care - we can be besties - so long as I don't have to provide them with room and board in my home.