Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: 124

Josh Beckerman Sometimes I wonder if Bill Clinton likes strawberries. If he does, I'm sure he likes them with whipped cream.
Zhanna Zonis To the guy driving in front of me on Rt. 287... Yeah, you - with a bumper sticker "Jesus Loves Me" on your white Dodge Stratus! Are you SURE that he loves you? Like - REALLY sure?! Because if he did, why would he make you so dumb and not give you basic driving skills, letting you drive in between lanes for the past 15 minutes and almost cause an accident?!
Erlene J. Aranias why do birds chirp so loudly at 4AM? get the worm and shut the heck up!!!
Brandi Perrow I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to run yesterday. Now I'm sure it wasn't.
Stefanie Cohen Loves being woken up by the sound of 15 cop cars, a drag race, a street fight, and and an arrest being made- all on 82nd & 3rd - at 3am!
Andrew Schechter My apartment (door) is on the Tonight Show tonight. Turns out Howie Mandell knocked on my door when I wasn't there. That's kinda neat, I think.
Evan Goldstein just soaked in lavender and epsom salts... wow my I just deleveled my manliness.
Nicole Mattina david wright isn't a yankee but I may have to make an exception...
Steven Keiser Cannot stand the majority of people in this world!
Edward Romaine I keep having dreams that Bettheny is stabbing me with a thousand butter knives.
Cristina Everett attempting to out-sing Rachel Berry at the GLEE concert tonight. gold star for meee!!!
Romina Spinnickie Someone needs medication... I'm talking to you, kelly bensimon.
Becky Vieira Out of all the things Canada has given the world I like Justin Bieber the least
Lauryn Kahn Someone should probably call the police, because I'm about to MURDER my Parkour class tonight.
Siri Garber thinks it is creepy when Facebook tells me to reconnect with a friend who has passed away..
Andrew Goldstein Inappropriate joke of the day: "Man, the iPad's really putting other handheld technology out of business... it's gotten so bad, this morning a Palm Pilot offered to suck my d*ck"
Laura Michele couldn't leave my patient's house today because a big raid was goin on next door...just 'nother day of life in da hood, yo.
Jack Curley is filmed in front of a live studio audience..
Saved By The Bell Screech: [to Zack's pet duck] So long, Becky. And remember... [makes quack sounds] Screech: . [to Zack] Screech: I heard Donald say that to Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Zack: And you're screwy.
Robin Cannito thanks, google pacman, for detroying all hopes of productivity for the rest of the day
Michelle Burgos Weintraub Things I want: Loaded fries and/or nachos and a draft Blue Moon.
Andrew Goldstein Happy Birthday to Mr. T who turned 58 years old today. Instead of blowing out the candles on his birthday cake he just pitied them out.
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Robert Klag: If a parsley farmer is sued - can they garnish his wages?