June 16, 2010

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Episode 7


I’m ABSOLUTELY APPAULED at this episode.  Mainly with Danielle – well, OBVIOUSLY with Danielle.  I watched the show last night and will recap the highlights of the many thoughts that ran through my head.

Staub the Stripper

  • Dina Manzo had every right to go to Chakra and let Danielle know that she’s no longer interested in having any involvement with her.  Danielle did not let her speak and continued to talk over her loudly and was extremely on the defense for no apparent reason.  She just could NOT be “talked to” and “treated” that way – but there was no “way” – Dina hardly had a chance to say anything.  It doesn’t take a smart person to know that Danielle is seriously delusional, which comes out later in the episode even more.
  • Fact: That story was exaggerated to the umpteenth degree to every single person she told. Even when she was going into the restaurant to meet with “her friends” she was squealing “can’t wait to tell this story to my friends!” YOUR SHIT IS STAGED. YOU HAVE NO LIFE. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.  RE-DICK-YOU-LOUS.  You need to seriously stop for a second.  Calm it. And think about your children.  THINK about what they are going through and what they WILL go through because of your antics.
  • I think it’s absolutely sad that Kim G plays both sides like this.  It’s almost like she has absolutely nothing better to do with her life.  After watching the NY Housewives Reunion show, we now know that people can request to film or to not film with other castmembers and outsiders.  Clearly, Danielle is helping to pave the way into BravoLand for Kim G, so long as Kim G returns the favor.  Fake-ass people.  I absolutely can’t stand that.
  • I’m really happy that Jacqueline took a stand with Ashley, but I also FELT Ashley at that moment.  My mom and I used to bicker in the exact same way and I really almost want to email Jacqueline to let her know that it’s normal to bicker like that when you’re more “best friends” than “mother daughter” – but that WILL change in time as Ashley gets older, as it did with mi madre.  I wasn’t sure what I thought of Derrick staying instead of leaving to console/be with Ashley, but I guess ultimately he made the right decision.
  • Danielle’s “sex tape” controversy was/is the best thing I’ve ever heard come out of The Real Housewives history.  This looneybin sent her OWN sex videos to this dude Chris and then told the public that there were hidden cameras?  I mean, CMON girl!  You must be trippin!  Like, why didn’t she think the truth would come out on that one? I’m just really confused.
  • I was extremely uncomfortable and just mad and disgusted with the staging of Danielle’s get together at her house (one of the ladies was still wearing a jacket!) to discuss how she’s “hot” and should show more skin and feel sexy, blablabla.  IT IS ALL JUST HORSE SHIT.  I wanted to punch the TV. 
  • SO, in an effort to make Danielle feel more sexy, they all decide to go lingerie shopping so that Danielle can feel comfortable “Dating” again after “the whole thing” with Chris – who by the way, she cannot BELIEVE Teresa and Joe would have the audacity to set her up with.  AAAAH!! I hate her. 
  • “My friends talked me into buying lingerie,” says Danielle.  “It’s gonna take a lot for me to feel like it’s okay that I’m single and wanna be sexy.”  So Danielle is giving a lingerie fashion show for her friends (read: the camera) and her friends are EQUIPPED WITH POMPOMS cheering her on!  WTF IS THIS SHIT?!  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I’m banging down on the keyboard in disgust.
  • As if that wasn’t bad enough, the group of 50-year-olds go pole dancing at Squeeze Lounge.  IN FRONT OF MEN.  “Now even Danny has joined the crusade to try to get me back into the dating scene,” says Danielle.  First of all Danielle, we all know you’re fucking Danny or want to fuck Danny or want Danny to fuck you.  You just WANT to be WANTED. And the dimension of patheticness she breeds.  That sentence didn’t make sense, and I realize that – but to me, it did. I HATE her. She’s so transparent and fake…putting on her OWN pole show with NO ass and trying to show herself off.  “wahhh i don’t feel sexy”  … “check me out while i fuck this pole”  I HATE YOU. By the way, Kim G – stay the fuck off the pole.  Please. You’re not hot. At all. You look like a grandma.  And, you should probably stay as far away as possible from Danielle before you continue to ruin your reputation so hard, you’ll be banned from the local ShopRite.
  • How about when she’s pole dancing and says “This is how I got my first husband – Did you see my house?”  LIKE, FUCK YOU.  Jacqueline hit the nail on the head when she said you associate yourself with rich women because they’re more likely to have rich male friends that you can pretend to like for their money.  You have ONE Chanel bag that you wear over and over again and let me tell you something, one Chanel bag does not a rich woman make.
  • I am obsessed with Albie and feel like now that he’s a celebrity, he can totally go on “my list” of men that “don’t count” if I were to ever get the chance. LIterally, when I was brushing my teeth last night, I was thinking about what kind of woman Albie would marry – how Italian and wholesome she’d be – and what a great family she’d be marrying into…ok?!  That’s what I was thinking about while I’m electric toothbrushing my chompers.
  • Finally, Dina Manzo is Dunzo.  Bitch be leavin’ the show.  Good for her.  She needs to play with Ladybugs and her daughter and Grandma Wrinkles and her hubs.  She doesn’t need this drama in her life.  It’s best to just remove yourself from a situation that’s causing you pain and heartache because you have one life to live.  I can’t imagine not seeing Dina in any upcoming scenes, but we shall see! I hope she at least comes to the reunion.
  • Who do you think will be the next housewife?  My thought: Kim G.


And that’s that.