July 29, 2010

The Jersey Shore - Season 2 Episode 1

I'm not sure what could be more exciting right now!  Snooki and The Situation back in face on a weekly basis.  I'm going to list just my general observations and reactions instead of a play-by-play.  The point is for you to read these blogposts and think "Totally, I totally thought the same thing!" and "Yes, that's the exact quote - awesome."  Here we go.


  • Snooki: "I want two balls. In my mouth."
  • Snooki doesn't go real tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning.  Remember when I told you that already? 
  • Snooki sits WAY too close to the wheel when she drives.  Like, is that a joke?
  • Ronnie and Sammi are both "single" and ready to get creepy down the shore, but if I know these two, they're going to get really effin' jealous of each other.
  • Why are these people going to Miami in the winter?  This show is supposed to be about the Jersey Shore ... and what's it's like there in the summer.  Normal people have actual jobs during the year and go down the shore during the summer to relax during the day and party at night.  BUT, because the show was such a success, they need to up the speed of Season 2 before the juice ran out, right?  So they make them go to Miami for the second season - but at this point, they KNOW they're there to wreak havoc and "make good TV" - you feel me?  So right off the bat I feel like they're going to act differently because of all the fame and celebrity-status they feel they have.  Those are my thoughts on that.
  • Vinny is going there with a new attitude because he's now "hot" and "famous" so he can have more confidence to bang a lot of girls.
  • I like to think that I took the same Road Trip the Jersey Shore did down I-95.  It's really symbolic to me in a way.  Is that weird?
  • We learn that between seasons Angelina and Pauly D hooked up in Vegas on a drunk night.
  • Angelina: "I'm really happy I got a second shot because I feel like everybody in the world deserves a second shot."  Right, because you see how famous you could have been if you weren't such a fucking bitch.
  • Why am I watching Angelina get a Brazilian Wax?  Seriously.
  • I love how the guys are stuck in the mud and MTV is standing there knee deep filming this shit.
  • Pauly D: "Who does AAA call when AAA gets stuck?"
  • Please with Snooki's cowboy hat.
  • "This puts pickles on a whole new level."
  • Why is Snooki BLACK?
  • I can't tell if I'm EXPECTING the cast to act differently because of their fame so they ARE or they just ARE because that's what they're like now?
  • Ronny's not falling in love this year. But like, when you fall in love, you just DO. You know?
  • This is nuts. Like, this is where I live now basically.  Isn't it WEIRD?
  • The Situation is just like such a funny boy.  He's like confident, but totally not.
  • What is Angelina wearing?  Why can't she walk in her heels?  Why doesn't she think that everyone ISN'T going to want her gone?  I would NEVER EVER EVER go there in Angelina's place.  Like, the clique is done. The door is closed. Move on.  Don't be Kim G from Real Housewives of New Jersey, ok?
  • Angelina invites her self to sleep with The Situation and Pauly D.  That's weird.  She's also like opening her legs by way of mouth - telling the boys she's single and has hooked up with both of them already.  
  • Take off your sunglasses Angelina.
  • Everyone is SO self-conscious but trying not to be.
  • Vinny is the best.  Ronnie is hot as balls.
  • Why did Ronnie and Sam break up? I really don't know the story.  Did I miss an issue of People? Us Weekly?  Seriously - am I supposed to know it?
  • Snooki: "My bronzer's leaking off of my face."
  • JWoww is such trash.
  • In the hot tub already.
  • Snooki: "I feel like a pilgrim from the 1920's right now." 
  • I think I'd be pretty pissed if I was in Sammy's situation right now.  Clothes.  Ronnie. Cameras. I feel bad.
  • I laughed out loud at Snooki's "where do you want me to put these" in her country accent.
  • Also, Angelina jumps in the hot tub with the boys because she needs SOME allies in the house - but this will clearly piss of the girls.  A lot.  (Even though this was Snooki's first mistake last season.  She apologized.  Then became the most popular one.  If she didn't apologize, she'd be a completely different story now.  By the way.)
  • Smart to put the camera behind the mirror - I like to see what they look at when they look at themselves.
  • Angelina should have just shut her mouth.
  • The boys vs. girls car! haha
  • Angelina and Ronnie are fighting. Couples fight because they care.
  • Ronnie looks like Ricky Martin.
  • I feel like whatever happened with Ronnie and Sam - I bet Ronnie was right.  Based on Sam's past, she manipulated Ron a lot.  I just feel like he's such a good guy deep down inside that whatever happened was probably Sam's instigation.
  • Also, there are paparazzi around their every move -- it's like ruining everything.  Each flashbulb going off reminds me that they are "celebrities" and are "acting" for the camera.
  • Grenades are fat ugly chicks
  • Landmines are skinny ugly chicks
  • Sam is going to want to make friends with Angelina to find out what Ronnie did tonight.
  • Ron's threeway kissing in da club.  Unreal. 
  • Sam's in bed with sunglasses.
Goodnight.