Jersey Shore - Season 3, Episode 2

I'm going to list just my general observations and reactions instead of a play-by-play.  The point is for you to read these blogposts and think "Totally, I totally thought the same thing!" and "Yes, that's the exact quote - awesome."  Here we go.

• What's crazy is that this is a full out fight.  Like, producers and big black guys getting involved and everything.
• I agree with Snooki in that she tried to be a good friend to Sammi and she still has shit to say about her?  That's not really cool, man.
• Sammi just thinks that because she has Ron, everything is fine and all good.  But guess what, men are not forever - especially when he's cheating on you.  I mean, if a man REALLY loves you, he'll treat you like gold -- not cheat on you in Miami.
• Snooki totally fits into a suitcase.  That's really awesome.
• If I was Deena's mom, I'd be like, really proud of her. [insert sarcasm here]
• Mike is so good; trying to mediate the situation...haha, The Situation...but seriously, he did try and it didn't really work out.
• Question: Why do you need to go to the tanning salon if you're at the beach? Just wondering.
• "Oooh, I got juice all over me." - Vinny.  "That's what she said." - Pauly D.
• Is J-Woww SERIOUS with these outfits?  I mean, mad props to her and all for pulling them off, but they're insane.
• "We're in fucking Seaside bitch, let's go to Karma" - Snooki
• I LOVE The Situation
• Why would a girl be so pathetic when there are cameras on the scene? I just don't understand it.  Do people not know they embarrass themselves?  
• "Honestly, who hides in a bush? Only me.  I will pee in a bush, I will poop in a bush and I will hide in a bush.  I do fucked up shit." - Snooki
• I feel like at this point, everyone knows the cast of the Jersey Shore.  In the first season, I'm sure people at the bars they were at were like "What's up with all these cameras here filming?"  but NOW -- well, now they get it.  They completely understand the cameras and they understand the fame and following of the Jersey Shore cast.  That said, of course whores are going to be whores at the clubs, making out and coming back with them.  What whore wouldn't want a Jersey Shore-style notch on their bedpost?
• So JWoww forgot to wish Tom a Happy Anniversary and he got upset about it.  Sigh.
• PLEASE NOTE - THERE WILL BE A JERSEY SHORE EPISODE ON MONDAY AT 9PM IN ADDITION TO THE ONE NEXT THURSDAY.  DON'T MISS IT.  It's the one where Snookster gets arrested.
• Why did Deena stay without the other girls?
• "She's a party in a body. Bring her home." - Deena to Vinny
• So Vinny goes at it with this slut in the guest room and locked out The Situation, even though it was understood that they were going to share her.  Unreal.  So when he comes downstairs, he tells Snooki and Deena about it and Snooki says, "So who are stuck with?" and Mike says, "I'm stuck with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now."  Deena replies, "Or me..." to which Mike giggled and said, "I'm alright."  And basically dissed her.  BUT, if Deena was a hot commodity in the house and other guys wanted to do her, he'd totally go for it.  He's looking out for himself and doesn't want to be "that guy" - and you know what? I'm proud of him.  I always thought he'd stick it into anything.
• Can someone "relieve sins that have been going on" at church? Is that even proper?
• "Let me tell you this, Deena is fucking crazy.  She's like an energizer bunny, but her batteries don't die. My batteries die." - Snooki.  You know why this is funny? Because the energizer bunny commercials are all about how their batteries KEEP GOING....
• Drama - Ronnie and Sammi aren't around for "Sunday dinner" - to squash differences or whatever they are supposed to do.
• "I'm down for the get down." - Deena
• Ronnie and Sam walk in and don't really say anything to anyone.  They are just tools.
• "You can't just walk in on Sunday with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches."
• "I have no idea why Sammi's here. She's boring. She's just there. Like furniture." - Deena
• "Karma is a bitch and sooner or later she'll get hers." - JWoww's profound words of wisdom. It's true.
• Deena asks if there was a big brawl in Miami with the girls.  Um, DID YOU NOT WATCH THE SHOW? C'MON NOW.
• "I'm taking all of Sam's misery and making it mine. So it's hard for me." - Ronnie
• "You need to feed the machine, before the machine can run." - The Situation
• Couldn't the guys just go next door and get their ball from the neighbors?
• Sammi BLOWS.
• What the fuck IS Snooki wearing???
• If Sammi wasn't so goddamn STUBBORN things could be okay for her.
• I didn't know there were rides at Seaside.
• If you don't trust Ron, Sam -- don't be with him.  You're with him because of comfort and security....NO OTHER REASON.  She's bringing up Miami now to try and get the upper hand again because she wants him to feel like he owes her.
• "I'm sick...I'm sick." - Sammi. Yes, yes you are."

This episode sucked.