Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

I judge your Facebook Status Updates:

• Courtney Hazlett Dear publicist. I don't work at People magazine. Haven't for many years! And wasn't my email address a tipoff? Ok, as you were.
• EB Atler The new mocha coconut frappuccino at Starbucks tastes like a samoa girl scout cookie. Dreams really do come true.

• Ben Mehl Big leg workout today and then finished with a 6:53 mile on the treadmill. What are you doing to reach your goals?

  
  

  • • John Artinger Jr. Sitting on the couch, imagining them
• Eric Cano I wish there was a job in which the main requirement was to be awesome.
• Andrew Goldstein ‎"Neptune's Spear?" Who's codenaming these covert Navy Seal operations, Ron Burgundy?
• Skeery Jones Heard on ¡ElvisDuran: Bartenders are now mixing a new drink called the OSAMA- it's two shots & some salt water!
• Colleen Krenzer It's a bit sad, the profound sense of achievement I feel when all my socks have matches when folding laundry.
• Mark Conrad Happy STAR WARS Day! May the fourth be with you
• JohnBart Skelton Something tells me I don't want to be in NYC tomorrow while President Obama speaks at Ground Zero
• Adrianna Giuliani You know Facebook is out of control when you start getting friend requests from blow up dolls. This happened
• Taylor Sternberg May the 4th be with you
• Alison McGlone If you can't get a hold of me, it's because I've been spending the last 2.5 hours on the phone with Kate Walsh. #NewBFF
• Phil Campanella Just attended a quarterly corporate meeting. I think my soul just died.
• Nancy Martira Brought a grapefruit to work. Did not bring a knife. Suggestions?
• Becky Pestana I'm confused when people "like" their own posts and comments. If you wrote it or linked to it, than isn't that enough of an endorsement from you? After you talk to people do you walk away and think, "Nailed it! That was so great how I said that stuff about the Seinfeld reruns..."? I don't get it.
• Dave Kern People, stop click on SPAM already! Are you that retarded?!
• I Have Zlata Thoughts I'm going to change my iPod name to 'Osama Bin Laden' so that when I plug it into my computer, iTunes will say "Osama Bin Laden is syncing"