Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

I judge your Facebook Status Updates

• Jonathan Bellinger ANGRY BIRDS JUST UPDATED SEE YOU ALL IN A WEEK
• Rachel Wallins I bid a fond farewell to jury duty and all its crazy characters. I will miss you, guy who has loud conference calls all day and lady who drank 9 cokes in 3 hours. Also bailiff who takes himself too seriously and woman who just doesnt understand anything. See you all in 3 years!
• Jane Marie Giustra Reiffe I'm abnormally broken up about Meredith leaving the Today Show. I had no idea I was this attached to her considering I usually leave for work before it even starts.
• Robin Cannito Gold I love how every weather alert for today is basically like "Do not go outside under any circumstances or you will die of heat the end."
• Ari Bernstein Dear coffee, please work more efficiently. It is way to hard to move around while my ass is on the floor.
• Pete Duca Nothing like a zombie movie to help you sleep
• Lauryn Kahn ‎"Are we going to the opening night of Larry Crowne together?" said no one to no one.
• Jennifer Caluri as a reminder I was funniest girl in Bishop Kearney High School, Class of 1989.
• Jocelyn Bassett Remember when Christina Aguilera was pretty? WTF happened?
• Zhanna Zonis While my life may not be perfect all the time, I often take comfort in the fact that at least I'm not dumb... Everything else can be fixed, but you're either born with a brain or without.
• Trisha Tobin Danze At the dentist and Thea is crop dusting the entire waiting room.
• JohnBart Skelton Why doesn't anyone ever want to roofie ME?!?!?! So annoying.
• Noelle Keppel close to narrowing down wedding venues... I wonder if Will & Kate had this much trouble with their tiny budget <---sarcasm
• Becky Pestana Facebook just reminded me of my upcoming wedding anniversary and suggested I send Steve a message. We've come to a really sad place in this world if we need Facebook to remind us our of own wedding anniversary! However, I'm not going to knock the message in lieu of a gift idea... Much more economical than Bronco parts!
• Ross Matsubara iFinally got one of the iPhones.
• Clare Kanter in the space of 20 mins: deplaned, connected computer to sky to send and receive emails, descended stairs with computer in process (+ luggage), boarded a bus, ascended stairs with computer still in process (+ luggage), secured lunch and boarded next flight.
• Victoria Jukofski This is what living on the sun must feel like.
• Michael Dorfman Walking in memphis... (no. Really I am.)