Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

Best Facebook Status Updates from my Newsfeed today:

• Andrew Goldstein It's so hot in NYC today even the ball from Derek Jeter's 3000th hit is sticking to his leg.
• Anthony Iozzia Where are all the mobile uploads of the dash boards with temperature readings???
• Roland Brian Alonzi Can we do without creating titles for events ending in -mageddon? Snowmageddon, Carmageddon. We get it. Come up with something more creative.
• Laura Heywood Bad reality TV soothes my soul.
• Yevgeniy Gelfand This one is for the Russkis: just passed Joppatowne!
• Ben Schwartz ‎"Oh, thanks for the offer Casey, but we're not looking for a babysitter right now."-Casey Anthony's VERY polite neighbor
• Bryce Gruber Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
• Chantelle Lauren Zino needs to figure out a way to get a nail girl under my desk to give me a pedicure while I'm working...
• Carl Gucciardi Jennifer Lopez is getting a divorce? I am stunned. You mean someone who was married to 3 different men, and engaged to 2 other men (but broke it off) in a 10 year span has a problem with commitment? I am stunned. Unbelievable.
• JohnBart Skelton My audition for "The Voice" is Friday @ 2pm. Please God/Goddess......make something happen for me. I need a life changing moment and hope this one is it.
• Cyril Khersonsky Rubbing thighs with a guy on the bus...lovely
• Angie Balsamo You know you're an Italian from New Jersey when you invite more Salvatore's to your wedding than you can count on one hand!
• Rachel Wallins Even though I ran four miles Saturday and two this morning, I could not be bothered to run 6 sidewalk squares to catch the next bus.
• Laura Michele I never feel compelled to call into a radio station,but Z100's discussion this morning was 'single vs. Not single'. THEY PUT ME ON THE RADIO cause my argument was strong-'i have no voice right now, due to all my single girl activities this weekend.' True.
• Saryn Chorney Rosenthal ‎"True Blood" Fans: Who else noticed that Mona from "Who's the Boss?" was in tonight's episode?!
• Kristin Salvi Edson Ohhh kim g you crazy bitch
• Laura Heywood Just overheard a guy say "I'm going to go healthy today," then proceed to order a salad consisting solely of iceberg lettuce, breaded chicken, two kinds of cheese and ranch dressing.