September 28, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people make me laugh:


Sneezing while driving is absolutely terrifying.
‎"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"

Love it that the guy from the vegan health food store on the way to work is looking around furtively right now as he buys a jelly donut from the pushcart guy on the corner.

Is it true that some gang members tried to shoot Tai at the mall?

Ever watch "That 70s Show" and pondered: I wonder how Kelso would act if he was wealthy beyond his wildest dreams? I found out. Just watch the new "Two and a Half Men!"

Happy Birthday, Google. What do you get the website that already has all of your personal data, banking info and browsing history?

A little offended that Chipotle is not serving a brisket burrito in honor of Rosh Hashanah today.

If everything works out right, I hope to get my shofar blown tonite.

FACT: starting work at 7:30am causes me to have suicidal tendencies around 2:45pm.

‎[This status update only available to Facebook® Gold™ account holders.]

oh girls...sigh. wetting a paper towel and wiping the toilet seat does not sanitize it.