October 13, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention


YOU PEOPLE MADE ME LAUGH TODAY:

My Bus broke down in the Lincoln tunnel... FML

Dear Fios Technician,
Please arrive and fix our cable and internet woes before the Devils game starts at 7:00.
Most sincerely,
Brian on the couch drinking Molson.


Rule #1: cursing at the parking attendant is guaranteed to make your car the last to come up. Chill out lady.

Dear City of Paterson: Make your street cleaning signs more visible next time. I don't need another ticket. Thanks.

press release of the day: Quick, Painless Procedure Can Re-Align Derriere in Less Than 45 Minutes

Pet peeve: rude people who lean against pole in subway so you can't hold on. Even worse..those who don't stop leaning when you say excuse me

I will be on Fox 5 San Diego tomorrow as part of a segment on the Interplanetary Conclave of Light, a "Ufo-liday" taking place on 33 planets this weekend. Segment will be around 8:50 ish.

My gypsy cab driver just gave me a discount because I have a mohawk. #HairFare

Apparently everyone can't drive today. Don't get pissed at me if you think pulling to the right side if the road to turn left is a smart idea, and I tell you to shove it up your ass