November 14, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

The cancellation of the #NBA season is the worst thing to happen to white girls' asses since mom jeans.

why do people friend request me with no intentions of ever talking to me....

Breaking News: professional sports associations and athletes still can't agree on financial negotiations, remain greedy bastards.

On of my favorite phrases - "toasted whole wheat everything bagel scooped out with veggie cream cheese, please." Love you, NYC.

Seriously people? It's a security line, not the line for Springsteen tickets. MOVE!!!!

Trying to explain to my Gentile husband that 'schmuck' and 'schmaltzy' are not interchangeable. Oy.

Feeling nostalgic about five minutes ago

Just a regular Monday morning, hanging out with Mark Cuban to ring the bell at the NYSE. No big deal.

Lessons learned from this morning's homeless train sermon: 1) There is a difference between a straight man and a crooked man (Hallelujah) 2) There is only one book and it ain't Facebook or Twitterbook (Hallelujah) 3) Who gon' git that evil out your heart? (Jesus). Said minister of the underground also told me to let the dirty habit out of my briefcase. A crack pipe that I allegedly smoke in the bathroom during all of my down time. Amen.

Syrup is pronounced sear-up not sir-up.

Why doesn't a major credit card company come up with a card targeted at city dwellers? What I don't need: extra points for gas or groceries. What I do need: extra points for taxis and take-out

Looks like my weekend just opened up