December 15, 2011

Completely Pointless Holiday Gifts

If anyone I know got me any of the below, I'd smack them. What is the POINT of any of these things?

APPLIQUE CURTAIN SET
$6.99 - Richly detailed curtains at great value! Lighten up the atmosphere of any room with bold, bright colors, warm patterns and cheery rustic themes that adorn the tier and swag window set. The three dimensional hand-appliqu├ęd design provides an authentic feel at an unbelievable price. Set includes one tailored tier pair and one swag. Polyester, 36 x 57 x 57".
TOE SOCKS
$4.99 - Toe socks keep them separated, dry and healthy! helping to maximize comfort, prevent friction, and offer toes the necessary room they need to breathe. Great for relieving and preventing pain caused by blisters, corns, calluses, athletes foot and other foot ailments. One size fits all. Soft and lightweight. Wear with shoes or sneakers. Washable cotton and spandex. One pair.
METAL BUTTON EXTENDERS
$3.99 - Button extenders - now in metal. A brilliant solution to tight-fitting shirts and pants. Alleviate discomfort in your neck and waistline by easily slipping extenders onto existing buttons. Eliminates expensive alterations. Stays hidden behind ties when used on shirt collars. Set of three includes a large, medium and small size. Made of aluminum and stainless steel. Set of three.
MOUTHWASH DECANTER
$12.98 - Crystal mouthwash decanter is an elegant alternative to those unsightly plastic bottles. No need to store mouthwash in the cabinet or under the sink. Decorative topper doubles as a small cup. Also use to hold bath salts, lotions, bubble bath. Holds approximately 6 oz. Glass, 2 1/2 x 5 1/4".
TRANSLUCENT WINDOW POSTERS
$11.98 - Translucent window posters bring your home to life during the holidays. Household lights illuminate these festive, full-color prints at night, while sunlight sets them aglow during the day. Easy to hang, comes with removable corner adhesive squares. Plastic, 35 x 60".
GLOW IN THE DARK GLASSES TRAY
$5.98 - Glow in the Dark Glasses Tray helps you quickly locate your glasses at night without the need for light! The innovative tray gently glows in darkness so you always know where your glasses are stored. Compact design is perfect for use on end tables, dressers and counters. Plastic, 6 1/2 x 3 x 1".
GORILLA GARDEN HANDS
$12.98 - Oversized Gorilla Garden Hands offer you a huge helping hand around the yard for quickly scooping, lifting and hauling tons of leaves and debris effortlessly. The innovative scoop design combined with rake teeth make it easy to grab loose items. Ergonomic grip handles with forearm supports help you effectively leverage the power of your arms. Plastic, 13 1/2 x 14 x 19 3/4".
OUTDOOR VIEW CURTAINS
$29.98 - Outdoor Curtains Create Scenic Views Inside! Add depth and color to any room with seven majestic designs. Beautifully replaces regular, drab curtains and brings to your home all the wonder of an outdoor view both you and guests alike can admire. Use with standard window or sliding glass doors. There are 2 panels in each package. Polycotton, 72 x 84".
SINGING TOILET PAPER
$5.98 - Plays a medley of Christmas tunes, including Jingle Bells, Santa is Comin' to Town, and We Wish you a Merry Christmas, as the paper pulls from the roll. Miniature device installs undetected, serenades the unsuspecting. Batteries included.
EAR WAX CLEANER
$12.98 - Cordless ear wax cleaner safely and easily suctions out wax. Powerful, yet gentle suction removes embedded wax without injury. Compact, includes stand. Requires two AA batteries, not included. 5 1/2 x 3 3/4".
CPAP CHIN STRAP
$7.98 - CPAP chin strap gently holds your lower jaw up for optimal CPAP mask comfort at night. Allows your CPAP therapy to work more effectively. The adjustable strap is lined to prevent irritating your chin. Works with all CPAP masks. Style unlike any other on the market. Plastic.