December 13, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

These people made me laugh today:

Just Googled, "What's wrong with me?" Got 14,600,000 results. Figures.
You know you are a big nerd when you go into your Moms attic and find a box of unopened 12 years old Star Wars themed Pepsi cans.
Bringing a dog into a Barnes and Noble is pretty much like commanding it to pee on the floor.
I'm very glad words with friends doesn't ask you for a definition before you can play the word.
Not even in Texas yet, and the guy next to me is talking to his friend Bubba.
The other day I thought about seeing the new Twilight movie, and then I threw myself down a flight of stairs.
Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

That's it.  Pick up your game, people.