December 15, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth A Mention

You people made me laugh today:


would really like a chocolate martini to appear in front of me right now. I'm wiggling my nose, but it's not working...

Paul Scheer
Whoever just sent me 2 Turtle Doves. Not Cool. They are shitting all over the house. #12DaysofChristmasProblems

The subtext of most Tweets is "Hi, remember me? I still exist."

As I approach my real 30th birthday I've decided that it is a bad look for any man in his 30 or older to have pictures of himself SUPER wasted on Facebook. Let the untagging begin.

Guy at Barnes&Noble: Sir, you can't have coffee in here. Me: Sir, you can't have a mustache like that, anywhere.

Things that werent around in 2003 before #Iraq War: massive spiraling National debt. Things that were around: 4483 American soldiers.

Seems like after nine years, 4,500 American dead, 32,000 wounded and more than $800 billion, it would be bigger news that the Iraq War is officially "over".