January 19, 2012

Shit People From Fair Lawn Say

I don't have a production crew at my beck and call to make a video, but if I did, the following lines would be in my version of the latest craze - "Shit People From Fair Lawn Say:"

  • "Where should we go tonight, JJ's or Dutch?"
  • "Empress Diner is way better!"
  • "No, Land and Sea is better!"
  • "River Road Hot Bagels don't even compare to Saddle River Road."
  • "Saddle River Road Hot Bagels don't even compare to River Road."
  • "I'm thinking of throwing the party at the FLAC."
  • "Are you going to the tree lighting ceremony?"
  • "Wait, Bottle King isn't in Fair Lawn?"
  • "This town just keeps growing with Russians."
  • "This town just keeps growing with Jews."
  • "This town just keeps growing with Russian Jews."
  • "Those Cutters are really lucky to have Shane DeLucca on board."
  • "Oh [snotty] - you live by Warren Point??"
  • "You went to T.J.?? You must have already tried cigarettes in 7th grade."
  • "Want to go get our nails done on Broadway? (Since there's like 36 nail salons in an 11-block radius)"
  • "I have to go catch the bus."
  • "I have to go catch the train."
  • "I love NJ Transit."
  • "I hate NJ Transit."
  • "I live at 10 DASH 15 Raymond Street."
  • "Do you belong to The Rec?"
  • "Yea right - I'm not going to get in trouble - I know all of the cops."
  • "Did you know 'Ransom' was filmed here on Saddle River Road?"
  • "Did you know you can see 'Fair Lawn' when Jimmy Fallon holds a map in the movie 'Taxi'?"
  • "Did you know Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg go to Fair Lawn in 'The Other Guys'?"
  • "I'm enrolling my child in Camp Cherokee this summer."
  • "I'm enrolling my child in Camp Iroquois this summer."
  • "I just ordered a #57 from Gio's."
  • "Let's drive fast over the Radburn bump and see what happens."
  • "I can smell the cookies from my house."
  • "Me? I live about 15 minutes from New York."
  • "I'm going to the mall (and everyone knows you mean the Garden State Plaza)"
  • "Our water tower is better than your water tower."
  • "Remember when there was a Woolworth's here?"
  • "Did you get your pool tag yet?"
  • "I went to Omar's once....once."
  • "I wonder whatever happened to the wall art that Alexander's had?"
  • "Let's go to Van Saun Park today."
  • "I don't need a ride, thanks - I'm just going to walk home."
  • "I get my turkeys from Herald's Farm...only."
  • "I heard the Hyway Theatre went bankrupt."
  • "I heard the Hyway Theatre had a secret rapist working there."
  • "I heard the Hyway Theatre was the scene of a murder mystery and it had to close down."
  • "I went to St. Anne's."
  • "Want to go walk around Ridgewood?"
  • "It's Fair Lawn, not Fairlawn."
  • "I have to get to Petak's before they close!"
  • "I heard he went to Bergen Pines."
  • "What the fuck is Mischief Night? It's called Goosey Night!"
  • "My zip code is oh-seven-four-one-oh"
  • "I'm going to take a ride through Dunkerhook"
  • "Of course I marched in the Memorial Day Parade when I was younger...didn't you?"
  • "I have to take a trip to the Rag Shop"
  • "To me, the word 'marathon' doesn't have anything to do with running."
  • "Going to CVS is an hour ordeal. I always see someone I know and end up talking to them forrrrevvvver!"
  • "I go to Parisi's.  Is there even any other gym to consider?"
Would love to hear your additions!