January 26, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:


Just once I want to see a soccer mom driving a minivan with a bumper sticker that says "I Love My Gat."

‎"I really hope I say something pithy today so that, many decades from now, someone will use it as a Facebook update." -- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Me: "Did the card get de-magnetized?"
Guy @ DD: "No, sometimes the strip goes bad if it comes in contact with another magnet"
Ummmmm... U should keep this job...

If I ran for president my most critical stances would be to abolish personalized license plates and Nickelback.

FOUR MORE YEARS!

POOR DEMI?!? Please......call me when she's doing lines of blow off a pickle jar while sitting on a filthy toilet seat at a truck stop located in the midwest somewhere.

Can't believe my kids are learning more Spanish from watching Dora than from me! It's a shame! Need to change that!

My 10 year old niece just accidentally butt-dialed me from school. Then she texted me to apologize. When I was 10 we still had a rotary wall phone in the kitchen. Crap I'm old.

Wyclef lied. It's WAY past November '07 and he's still gone.

Sorry folks, but Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie is about a creepy pedofile. Done.

Omg! I really don't want to hear about joe paterno anymore! Good guy, bad guy...whatever! He's dead bc he was old and thats it!

You know you spend WAY too much time on #Facebook & #Twitter when u use hash tags in text msgs!

 ·  · about an hour ago near New York · 

  • You and Jenny Sims like this.

    • Zlata Faerman I like to use # to get straight to my point without really typing everything out and eliminating spacebars #theyreawasteoftime


The following is an example of a pointless update that just took up News Feed real estate:

ahh.. i wish