April 16, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:


FUN FACT: disguised as a feature film, War of the Worlds, is actually a documentary about how the Church of Scientology abducted Tom Cruise.

Dear Lady With the Fleece Blanket Around Her Shoulders While Working- we get it, you're a dainty flower...now buck up, its just air conditioning.

Frank J Castillo added a new photo.

I love the Upper East Side: 10 minutes on Madison Ave & I've run into a Boardman, a Lauder, two Astons (not the car), a Rockefeller & a Kopelman.

I notice the Pulitzer committee did not declare a fiction winner this year. I solemnly believe it's because the panel was deeply divided over whether my Community fan-fiction novel, "Troy & Abed's Very Special Arbor Day," was the best U.S. writing of the year or if it should be turned over for consideration by the Nobel folks.

Liars!

Bridges are for pussies.

Some warnings you are better off paying attention to.

Let's hear it for El Salvador! Saturday was their First murder free day in 3 years! We knew you could do it!

FUN FACT: disguised as a feature film, War of the Worlds, is actually a documentary about how the Church of Scientology abducted Tom Cruise.

Monday rant - don't respond to my email request for a document with a note that says "sure, I'll send it in a minute." Just take that minute, attach the document and respond with that. #inefficient

Ok calm down now Facebook. Giving birth is amazing but I'll hold off on handing out awards until you've raised a civil human being who contributes to this world in a positive way. Half the planet can squeeze out a baby. Very few should be bragging about the end result.

yayyy marathon monday in boston!! i will celebrate by drinking at work in LA

My Yahoo Mail Spam Folder.

I now know how to say "Viagra, 55% off delivered right to your door." in Arabic.