April 24, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

The truth about Megan Fox's pregnancy...its my baby. And there ya have it.

This asshole person weaved on and off of route 206 in Andover/ Byram today for 6 miles. If you know them, please kick them in the crotch and take their keys. Then kick them in the crotch again. Thank you.

FDA Pushes Back Bowel Drug Review: Ironwood, Forest - Apr. 23, 2012
Am I the only one who sees the humor in this Headline?

Shit elsewhere, usted.

Eco-friendly products are now being named by Jewish mothers.

That moment when you forget that you're listening to a long voicemail and you answer the person back.

As rewarding as chopsticks are, sometimes I think sushi tastes better when you eat it with your hands....

Feel like I could be the Beyonce of husky guys with beards.

Doctors handwriting: ﹏﹏ ﹏

What normal ppl see: ∮₪₮₩£

What the pharmacist sees: OxyContin

You people need to realize that Facebook Updates aren't to be read like AIM away messages:


No, song lyrics do NOT count as Facebook Status Updates:

It such a good vibration, its such a sweeeeet sensation! Come on and feel MY vibration!