July 13, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

So many people smoking pot on the street I am getting a comic-contact high

I just heard a woman say the word "sketchical" when she meant to say "skeptical." I don't think she knew she was making the most awesome mistake in the history of malapropisms.

Our dog (who last night licked the dirty butt hole of a just pooped Labra-doodle) doesn't like the taste of this new dog food.

It's so funny. My timeline is filled with two kinds of friends. Those getting engaged, getting married, having babies and buying homes. And those getting blackout drunk in the Hamptons every weekend. I don't miss the latter at all, and so stoked to be stalking the photos of the former.

In the last 15 mins, I polished off half a bag of popchips, one cup of espresso, and one of those VITA tea drinks with 34 grams of sugar. Clearly I wasn't thinking when I did this. Should I be concerned that I'm having heart palpitations??

Dear Airlines,

A lot of people want to fly on Thanksgiving, and we get it...you want to make a lot of money....but I'm not flying to Kuala Lumpur, I'm flying to Newark. Could we PLEASE tone down the airfares?

Gregg S. added a new photo.

HOV lane, here I come.