August 17, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

I'm starting to think that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who clap when the pilot lands the plane and those who do not.

i wish people offered you cake all the time instead of water.

Did you know a dolphin's nipples are in her tush? Makes breastfeeding especially awkward in public, I say.

Sometimes I wish there was world peace and other times I wish I could pull off bangs.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap

Dear Journalist X: the stitching on the back of your suit jacket at the vents needs to be removed. It is not a mattress tag. Good grief!