September 24, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Only in #NYC

I ordered takeout last night. I got home and I looked in the bag and there were four little packets of plastic utensils. Four. Do you know what that means? The person who took the order looked at the food in the bag, determined that it was enough to feed AT LEAST four human beings, and provided the appropriate amount of cutlery. #FML.

Ahhh Spanish heritage month... When even news reporter suddenly feels the need to rrrrroll their 'Rrrrrrr's"

My life is a rad trip. Sittin w/ Jennifer Grey watchin #DancingWithTheStars I'm dead serious when I tell you: baby is sitting in the corner

Me: you have to listen to me and daddy. We are older and know more than you.
Carly (through tears): but I know more Spanish words than you. And you don't know french or chinese.
Me: speechless

I paid one dollar to watch 2 broke girls on this flight and I want my money back. What a stupid show. I HATE THIS SHOW.

Everyone knows the only acceptable time to roll down an airplane window is if the pilot needs to change lanes and the turn signal is broken.