October 2, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

World's Best Boss (moi) says, "Good morning. I need a favor. The woman sitting next to me on the subway had a seizure and sprayed vomit everywhere. I need you to check the back of my dress for vomit stains. Happy Monday!" Feri G. Koszorus is living the dream.

Welcome to October. You have roughly 2,678,300 seconds left in the month to do something truly awesome. Get busy.

That awkward moment in which everyone was waiting for Theresa to spell “Napalm”

Why do I post Facebook updates from my iPhone when I'm sitting right in front of my computer? (Sent from my iPhone)

Dear speech pathologist coworkers and humanity at large, you must delete "literally," "ridiculous," and "random" from your semantic inventory AT ONCE...I can no longer stand your accounts of ridiculous events (i.e. mundane party) where you saw the most random person (planned invited guest) and you were literally going to die (I can only wish).

You people made no sense to me today:

WARNING for the month... BEWARE of fake ass friends... They'll ride with you until it's not beneficial to them anymore. *rick flair whooooo*