October 2, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

I wanna open a hotel for super PDA couples called "Get a Room".

Mark Pinajian
Let me get my status updates out of the way for the rest of the week....
•[Unprovoked political rant in hopes that someone disagrees and debates me.]
•[Random photo of the food on my plate]
•[Inspirational quote most likely taken from a coffee table book]
•[Narcissistic brag about the awesome workout I'm gonna have sometime in the future]

And ofcourse the always popular...
•[Passive aggressive comment to nobody knows who about nobody knows what in hopes that concerned people reply. Just to have me completely ignore them or simply state "long story"]

Dear Facebook - Please stop suggesting I be "friends" with my exes. If we have 200+ mutual friends and haven't connected on here already it's clearly for a reason. Regards, Bex

Can someone please immediatley cut a Papa John's commercial to the song Papa Can You Hear Me? from Yentl cutting back and forth from Barbara Streisand to Papa John. I will pay.

‎"I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. Wizards? Sure that I believe but I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?"

My wife is pulling for the Oakland A's to win the World Series. Please no one tell her that Brad Pitt isn't actually their general manager

At the gym in Chelsea. I see a big bearded guy in a Cal shirt. I point at him and say, "Are you a bear?" His mouth fell open. I think he misunderstood the question...

Being married is not losing your cool when someone, who shall remain nameless, uses a brand new white towel to clean up hot sauce.

Also, it's when you start caring about buying seasonal towels.

I sarcastically reacted to your status update today:

any one want some ink? thinking of getting a tattoo party going. prolly at my house and i might set up a bar to bartend for after it... anyone down?
Like ·  · 2 hours ago ·