June 12, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention


You people made me laugh:



admits that when he sees a PSU decal on the back of a car, he's significantly less inclined to let them merge.

FACT: People who say "i'm parched" want everyone to know that they're not only thirsty, they're also an asshole. ‪#‎MondayMeetings‬

If you answer your phone during my ride... You do NOT get a tip. Period.

I have a confession to make: Pornstache really does it for me. ‪#‎OITNB‬‪#‎bitchincamaro‬

NYC tourist pro tip: Riding the subway during rush hour is a really great way to get yelled at.

Soccer: Nobody in this country cares. Thanks.

Forget the missing dog.
Unlike actual soccer players, I'm pretty sure this was me faking an injury so I could eat orange slices and drink Gatorade on the sideline. ‪#‎tbt‬‪#‎WorldCup‬
Times I've missed my stop while sleeping on the train: 0 (Since moving here)
Times I've missed my stop while playing a game on my phone: 4 (Since June 3)

It appears that Pandora all of a sudden decided that I am a suicidal adolescent.