Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Chris Morran

6 mins · 

The only people more deserving of scorn than those who abuse hashtags online are those who speak in hashtags.

Sam Jones

9 mins · New York, NY · 

Being outside feels like being inside a giant vagina. ‪#‎moist‬

Claire Gendel

2 hrs · West Hollywood, CA · 

I'm not sure if my neighbors are using the vacuum to drown out the sound of her moaning or the vacuum is somehow part of the whole thing, but we all know they're having sex at 10am. Happy Friday!

Chris Morran

3 hrs · 

I know I'm getting on in years, but I'm holding true to my lifelong dream... of having a reckless one-night-stand and, many months later, going on Maury to see if I am the father.

Jason Adams

22 hrs · Instagram · 

$6 a pound at the farmer's market.

Unlike

Sam Jones

2 hrs · New York, NY · 

Fact: If they're talking shit about others to you, they're sure as fuck talking shit about you to others. ‪#‎Hype‬

Louise O'Brien

3 hrs · 

I know me better than you know me. Just for the record.