July 21, 2015

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Great thing about conference calls from hotel rooms: you don't *have* to wear pants.

It's amazing to me how you can keep posting pictures of your filthy house with zero shame!! I can't be the only one who ALWAYS looks in the background and checks out the room!! At least crop it or try and push some of that shit out of the way before you take the picture...

My favorite thing about Britney Spears's leaked grocery list is that it's impossible to guess if "Capris" refers to cigarettes or Suns.

the longer I live on this planet, the more and more I wish there was a required IQ test in order to reproduce

Don't wait people! Amazon prime deals are out of control! Can't wait to get my new wrist splint ... 😐

At an event.. "What's not sweet?" A steak. I sell cupcakes. Go away.

The city smells like if you took all the trash in New York, put it in a bag, lit it on fire, and put it at Jesus's doorstep.

Kassia Graham feeling irritated

Why is Carson Daly on TV so early in the morning, or at all?

Oh, you emailed my boss to complain because I didn't respond to your email quickly enough?
How does being dead to me feel exactly?

Up early for a busy day ahead...Starbucks doesn't open till' 6am though. Who do I need to talk to about this?