Adventure to South Jersey

Yo. I recently went to go visit my friend G-Barb in his hometown of Cherry Hill. My trip down (via Path and Amtrak) was less than interesting, aside from the two separate sets of transvestites I saw on my way down.

If North Jersey is considered an extension of New York City, I figured that South Jersey had to be an extension of Philly. I came to see that my hypothesis was incorrect. Our Friday night started off with the normal pregame session of comedy acts and dance routines. We then made our way out to a nice bar in Philly, where I noticed the type of people and style of dress are completely different from what you'd see in a night out in NYC. First of all, anything goes as far as dress. Sure, I'm a people watcher and silent judger (and I'm not ashamed to admit it), but some of the get-ups were absurd. While outside enjoying a cigarette, we spotted a girl with a silver tube dress that hugged the hiney, black leggings that ended at the ankle and finally, the ugliest pair of mary-janes I've ever seen. Sure, everyone has a different style and I'm accepting of that. But I really cannot understand anyone who would walk out of the house sporting a pair of shoes like that. I did a little goggle-imaging (yea, I said goggle) and this is the closest match I can come across:



Do you think I'm a bitch? I don't care. Aside from a different style, I also noticed a better attitude all around. Sure, not everyone was dressed up to the fullest, but that spoke volumes to me - everyone was really friendly, innocently looking to have a good time and didn't seem to have an agenda to impress anyone. I'm sorry, but it's just not like this in NYC.
Next: After Public House (which I really dug), we decided to go to a bar I like to call Cheese Ball Bar. My reasons for this nickname are twofold: 1. It was the first place I've ever tried the very-popular-in-South-Jersey Cheese Balls and 2. EVERY.PERSON. in this place was a cheeseball. As I said before, the style of South Jersey folk and North Jersey folk vary, but guess what? So does the general vibe they give off. I have never been to a bar like this in my entire life. I felt like I just stepped out of a Guns n' Roses surprise cameo performance in the movie The Wedding Singer, had there been such a thing. It was incredible...and so fucking fantastic! I'm not sure about what it is about dive bars, but something about this one sucked me in and I'm officially hooked. I'd go there every weekend. And I'm not just saying this because of their cheese balls.
Which actually brings me to my next topic: The Mighty Cheeseball. So I guess this is a Southern thang, but cheeseballs are essentially like mozzerella sticks, but made into these tiny little balls. Duh, the name is self-explanatory. Anyway, this comes in at a close second (only to In-and-Out Burger) of things we should have in North Jersey.
While at the incredible Cheese Ball Bar, I realized that somehow I managed to lose my cell phone. G and I decided that it probably fell out in the cab on the way over. Being from the New York area, I decided that I'd have to have a private vigil for my precious blackberry later on and to simply consider it a gonner. The thought of losing that cell phone really almost brought tears to my eyes. (Which is like a whole other therapy session) Anyway, G convinced me that all would be okay and he'd find out how to get in touch with the cab driver to get it back. Long story short, I DID leave it in the cab and the cabbie ended up driving back to G's house at like 4am to return it to me. Why are you writing about this, Zlata? I'll tell you. I would NEVER expect such a thing to happen in New York. I was convinced my cell was gone, but underestimated how nice the people in this area actually were. It's nice to "love thy neighbor" and shit, and I think New Yorkers would be better off having that sort of attitude - because it rarely happens (in my experience, anyway.)

REALLY?!!? RANDOM THOUGHT:
Has anyone seen that Wii commercial for some "life" game (can't think of the name)? Well, it shows these two women, maybe in their 30's, sitting on a couch and deciding what they are going to do that day. Shopping and going out to lunch were ideas that made their agenda. As I sat there wondering what product this commercial could be for, cut to: these women "shopping" and "lunching" IN A VIDEO GAME. I mean, really?! Get your lazy asses up and GO shopping, GO run errands, GO DO SOMETHING. Are you SERIOUSLY just sitting on your couch shopping and shit via a VIDEO GAME? Does it make you feel like you've actually accomplished something that day? "Honey, I'm home!" "Oh, hi dear, I'm so tired from all the shopping I did today!" Like give me a break. I actually ended up telling G about this and he said he thought it was a way of letting women live vicariously through video games - much like what men would feel about a game where you can drive really fast, deal drugs and shoot lots of random people in the streets. My counter-argument is that the latter game for men is more a fantasy world, since every man ideally would love to do all that and be macho, whereas the former -- I mean, it's just NORM for women to do. So I just don't get why America is so fucking lazy that they need to make a VIDEO GAME FOR WOMEN TO PRETEND TO HAVE A LIFE. I can't.

Also, I just watched SNL from this Saturday and the things I would do to Justin Timberlake are only legal in a small tribe village in Africa (I actually looked it up.)

I also have a new joke:
Q: How do you get a fat girl into bed?
A: Piece of cake.

Yo, I'm Palin - I'm out.