American Idol 8 - Episode 4

I decided to skip on last night's review because it sucked -- just like all of them have been sucking, but tonight's episode had some interesting quirks:

American Idol - Episode 4 - January 21th - Louisville (pronounced by preference)

• In the opening, Cara wants to play this guy's trumpet. Did anyone catch the musician telling her to put his trumpet on her lips and blow?
• Tiffany - with the blonde hair and fake eyelashes - sang one of my bad luck songs by Mariah Carey. I couldn't really understand her accent, as it was a cross between southern twang and eastern european. Obviously, she was basically escorted out of the audition room, but didn't leave the stadium without singing one more song to America. Unnecessary. Tiffany's mom was priceless, nodding her head side to side in the "rhythm" of her daughter's singing. You are a horrible mother. No single person who loves Tiffany would let her think she had a shot in hell to become the "Next American Top Idol," as one moron contestant called it.
  
• Joana Positi - aka Total Package - is a pretty girl with bright white teeth and pretty blue eyes. But let's get serious here, a) you were screaming a bit and 2) let's not go overdramatic with the tears for going to Hollywood when you were already on a record label. Not a total shocker. Do you think the guy on Fast Food Nation was totally shocked to learn he gained 67lbs after two months of eating straight McD's? Doubt It.
• Paula likes to cause drama. Obvi. This usually happens when she's not sedated. Poor Mark Mudd - aka - boy who almost died five times. Homeboy was so nervous, that on his way out he told the judges to have a nice day and be careful. It was completely innocent, since I deduced he meant 'be careful [in life]' - but Paula bugged. She was basically ready to file a restraining order against Mudd and take the next plane outta there, telling him that was considered a threat. Chill, girl. Take a xanax. Heel.
• Spencer Pratt lookalike - You're hot. And you sing well. And, you're hot. Even though you look like Spencer Pratt.
• Judges need to CHILLZ. Everyone (minus Simon) completely overreacts. The girls think they are hot shit and it's like an elementary school in there. "Oh, let's go under the table on the count of three" Paula, Straight Up Now Tell Me -- are you smoking CRACK?? And Cara is theee worst. I'm over her '09. She thinks she's so hot and was totally the girl in HS who made fun of other people to make herself feel better. Like when that single mom with the Military fiance made it through, Cara was quick to give her the uber-constructive feedback of "Don't wear pink." Cara, ding dong, we're on American Idol, not The Zoe Project.
• Although I have no feedback, I just want to take a moment to shoutout a Michael Jackson performance by a certain teddy bear named Patrick.
• Maybe it's been a while, but did anyone else think that Russ was not THAT bad looking? Sure his teeth were completely ridiculous and his overbite was beyond repair. Yea, maybe his hair was a little weird, he walked all Homo Erectus and he was bizzarly smart...but still, there was something about him to me. I think if he could go through a Cool-a-Tron machine, he wouldn't be too bad looking of a guy.
• Lenisha - I cried during your little montagical moment.
  

There you have it, kids.