May 17, 2009

Candor with Alexander

I have to say - I did not expect the questions to come pouring in like this! Not only did I get a bunch of "issues" from women, but I also got quite a few from men. Now, I know that my blog reaches many, many people now (including co-workers and my father) BUT I did say no holds barred - so I'll warn you that some of questions asked and answers received will NOT be rated PG. Got it? I do NOT want to be judged for the content I filter through here -- I'm simply providing a service. From most of the feedback I receive, people are receptive to my site because it's relatable and I "write just like you [readers] think." I appreciate that feedback and will continue to do that. So now, without further adieu (ado?) - here we go!!!

I'm going to kick off the FIRST "Candor with Alexander" with a question from a GUY --
---

Dear Alexander,
Ill try my luck here. I'm really into my girlfriend of three months but she's not really into experimenting in the bedroom. Our sex is sort of fine but sort of boring. I don't know what to do to make it more interesting without hurting her feelings.

--Hit My Plateau, North of SOHO

Yo, Plateau!
Firstly, I'd like to commend you on your willingness to keep things interesting in the sack, furthermore; it takes great fortitude to reach out--even anonymously--to another dude for sexual advice. That said, there are what I believe to be two possible causes for your dilemma: 1.
She could be too hot for her own good. A woman can be beautiful and know it, however, it’s when this knock-out relies solely on her looks as a method of seduction, (“lies there like a board”) that we have a problem. I’d venture to say you’re not into necrophilia. If this is the case, liven her up a bit by being a little more aggressive in bed -- maybe she's just shy. You can try some reasonable hair-pulling, leaving the lights on, etc. Let her know you enjoy your sex with her BY enjoying your sex with her. 2) The second possible cause of the boredom in the bedroom is chronic insecurity. Opposite of the bombshell described earlier, is the woman who is gorgeous and clueless of this fact. A woman can be a bull in public and a bear in the bedroom. These dames just need to be encouraged a bit. Shower her with compliments. You’ll want to avoid comments like, “That’s a great rack!” Instead, maybe light a candle or two--follow fire code--and with conviction, not cheesiness, tell her “how beautiful she looks in this light!” If you’re looking for a particular sexual act, just be honest and tell her you'd like to try something new to see if she'd like it. Be patient. If after a while she's still a dead fish, throw her back in the ocean and catch yourself another.

‘Till next time,
Alexander
100 and Counting...

5 comments:

  1. I have a question too -- who do I send an email to?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Dude! You can send me an email to zspot at ihavezlatathoughts dot com -- or you can just hit KONTACT at the top -- and just ask away!

    Thanks so much!!

    xo
    Z.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice job Alexander! One does have to wonder how Plateau came to the conclusion that his GF isn't into experimenting. Did he try and get shot down? Or is he just assuming that? For all we know she's thinking the same thing about him! Buy her something sexy (NOT crotchless edible undies to start with), pour some wine & go for it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. guys this chick is lame and this doucehbag is going to continue to have bad sex because he probably sux too

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think a third cause for a girl to act like this could be repression. Maybe she grew up believing (for reasons religious or otherwise) that enjoying sex was bad, or that doing anything beyond the basics is wrong or deviant.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your ThoughtZ!