June 15, 2009

List of 60 Ridiculous Facebook Fan Pages

I understand the meaning of fan pages as it pertains to different brands, causes and celebrities.  I can even understand the occasional funny fan page.  But, I mean, some just don't serve any purpose in life.  That's not to say, however, that I didn't join a bunch of them as I was browsing the entire database....

I can't handle these:
  1. I Have Zlata Thoughts, yo
  2. I Love Sleep
  3. Laughing
  4. Staying Up Late
  5. Flipping The Pillow Over to Get to the Cold Side - I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS. I recently thought that it would be REALLY cool to invent a temperature-controlled pillow. During the summer months, it would be great to have a cold pillow - and vice versa during the winter months. Should I patent that shit?
  6. Laughing When Someone Falls (amazing)
  7. Bubble wrap (ridiculous)
  8. Texting (I mean, cmon)
  9. Being Barefoot
  10. Morning Sex
  11. I Hate One Word Text Messages!
  12. I Like the Smell of Rain
  13. Not Being on Fire (REALLY!??!)
  14. I Do Stupid Stuff When I'm Drunk
  15. Money (duhhhhhh)
  16. The Sun (Who isn't?!?!)
  17. Water (I don't even have words for this)
  18. I Hate People That Don't Text Back (Well, that's funny - because I hate people with poor grammar -- it's WHO don't text back, not "that")
  19. I Hate Mosquitoes
  20. Days Cuddled Up In Bed When It's Raining Outside
  21. Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubeman (say that three times fast)
  22. Naked Cuddles In Bed
  23. Payday
  24. I Don't Sleep Enough Because I Stay Up Late for No Reason
  25. Being Alive (PLEASE!!! I CAN'TTTTTTTTT)
  26. Drunken Conversations with Taxi Drivers (this one is actually awesome because I do it all the time)
  27. I <3>
  28. I Love My Quilt
  29. I Love My Duvet
  30. Not Having Swine Flu
  31. Hot Showers
  32. The Planet Earth
  33. Internet
  34. Telling Dick Cheney to Shut the Hell Up
  35. Myself 
  36. Hair Straighteners (I mean, I'm a fan - but to join such a group? Cmon...)
  37. Sunny Days
  38. Not Being Eaten By Sharks
  39. Spooning
  40. The "Meh" Response
  41. Using the laptop in bed
  42. I Love Being Black (I almost just joined this one for shits and giggs)
  43. Funky Wrist Bands
  44. Cuddling in the Winter
  45. I Miss Someone
  46. The Moon
  47. I Hate Mornings
  48. Fuzzy Peaches (yea, you're funny. we get it. get over yourself)
  49. Being Awesome (just one of many I joined tonight)
  50. Laughing Fits
  51. Sleeping In
  52. Silly String
  53. Skinny Jeans (I mean, come ONNNNN)
  54. Late Night Texts
  55. I Don't Care!
  56. I Love My Kids!!!! (Really? Would it be normal NOT to love them???)
  57. We Hate Exam (Interesting...Hopefully you aren't referring to English examS because guess what? You FAILED)
  58. I Love Shoes (Well I should hope so!)
  59. Celebs on Facebook (I don't get this. If you're a fan of Celebs on Facebook, then why don't you go be a fan of the celebrity whose fan page is on Facebook? Like, why do you need to be a fan of a group called Celebs on Facebook?)
  60. Sleeping While Listening To Music

You know what I just thought of?  You could make like a whole dating profile just based off of the groups you'd choose to join.  Think about it - there's literally a fan page for ANYTHING and everything you could think of -- it totally shows a potential suitor your likes and dislikes, thereby finding out commonalities or lack thereof.  For instance, there's a fan page for "Diamonds."  I mean, duh - I love diamonds. I'd become a fan of that page.  BUT, maybe I WOULDN'T because then people would think I'm like materialistic -- you know what I'm saying here? Like, you wouldn't join "I Love Babies" because then you might seem too much like "I'm ready to get married let's do this now and let's get pregnant right away" type.  In any event - I've decided on a name.   The site would be called www.FromFanToLivespan.com  BAM.