May 10, 2010

The Real Housewives of New Jersey 2

Before I get into the main event, I just wanted to take off my hat to this weekend's Saturday Night Live. I'm not sure what the special occasion was, but I thoroughly enjoyed the veteran ladies' return to the stage. Tina Fey, Rachel Dratsch, Amy Poehler, Ana Gastayer and Maya Rudolph: Thank you! As for Jay-Z's very fabulous medley performance, AH - I love him!

And now - for the second episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Once again, I'll be blogging through a stream of conscience - no filtering, editing - just straight up thoughts.

Danielle is always just "on camera." She is never HERSELF - she always knows that the camera is on and in X amount of months, whatever she says will come out on TV. It's just annoying that she always needs to boggle her own problems into the ears of others. You're divorced. Your husband sucks supposedly. You can't move on with anything until you get rid of the house? Cmon now! Your realtor does need to see or hear you get completely emotional. Just do what needs to be done on YOUR part. She'll do what needs to be done on HER part. AND MOVE ON. She said "I'll leave that to you do get me out of here" to the realtor. GRAB YOUR BALLS and get yourself out of here!

Theresa is adorbs and makes me laugh. Of course, Danielle is brought up. I'm uncomfortable with Theresa and Caroline talking about Danielle's children. Ah, Jacqueline states the same to the audience. She just said that it's crossing the line. I think Jacqueline is really nice about the situation, being friends with Danielle and all. Caroline and Theresa jump down her throat, claiming that she's the weakling in the situation. Although Jacqueline says she is not weak and can stand up for herself when she needs to stand up for herself, she's certainly NOT doing that at the lunch table - where she should be telling these two to fuck off and move on to the next topic. Also, Theresa is a bit of a follower in this situation. If you recall last season, Theresa didn't have such a big problem with her - but when Dina and Caroline pressed about how bad she was, etc. - she became team Manzo.

Caroline's kids are my fave. Especially Albie. Duh. He's hot to me. Ham Game - haha. What's funny is that if the "ham game" is the worst thing these kids can do - then GREAT. Albie is uncomfortable because his best friend in the world is dating his sister. I just have to say that if this is his best friend in the world, then he obviously really DOES like the sister, since he probably respects Albie as a friend and the rest of the family in general. Albie should be happy about this, generally speaking - but I can see his point a little.

Jacqueline IS a weakling actually. "It's my right to worry as a mom" - she says, regarding her daughter being out of the house at 18. STEP up to the plate and be a fucking MOTHER. Raise your voice, yell at her, keep her home. The daughter has zero respect. I'm glad Jacqueline told her to take her laundry too. OWNED. Later on, Dina says that Jacqueline should give her a can of whoopass, and I agree.

Jacqueline's daughter was scouted as a model. She says "like" like, a LOT. Also, Danielle is sooooo excited because of "the opportunities they'll be able to have together" - since the agent only works with "those who will become supermodels." oh PUHLEASE Danielle. You are the most selfish women EVER. The daughter like doesn't even care. She wants to live through her kids. I MEAN basically, she wants to be Dina Lohan.

Gia has a tryout to walk in fashion week. Think PR put this together. Smart, smart. I think she'll get it, because of the press. What do you think?

Gilles Bensimon is shooting for Christine. Bensimon -- sound familiar? She definitely did look like a very pretty model. Danielle is obsessed with her daughter being this model-type - but NOT because she is SO PROUD OF HER DAUGHTER - no. She's obsessed with this because of what other people will think about her when they know her daughter is a famous model. She's more concerned and interested in how this will benefit HER. Even her own daughter is annoyed with her. No, stop getting involved with modeling, Danielle. You are scarytimez.
Also, it feels as though this whole thing with Ivan and IMG and Danielle (did you notice that she was in the magazine too?) is a setup. Let's get serious. "Book 'em, Danno"

Danielle wants to have a celebratory luncheon in Christine's honor of her magazine cover. But really, she just wants to brag and showoff to look cool. Wow, even her DAUGHTERS just said that. Do you get this, people? Her CHILDREN have more foresight about this than she does, ok?! However, I do think that Danielle behave very maturely when Jacqueline tells her she won't make it.

Is Gia for serious? FOR SERIOUS? But I dig her in a weird way.

Danielle invites her most important and closest friends - including Kim "D" - most importantly. The same chick that was talking shit about her behind her back. Love those kinds of "really close friends". Meanwhile, her daughter calls her own mother out about how this wasn't a party for her, but more for her own mother to "braggy brag". Remember when she showed the ladies her own picture too - I mean, cmon. Also, she says she understood why Jacqueline couldn't go, etc. but BEHIND HER BACK is talking shit about her and Dina to these ladies. "I'm not passive. And I'm not aggressive." Really? Then what are you, Danielle? If you say one thing to one person, with whom you SHOULD be talking things out with - and say something completely different to other people, who don't even give a shit - you just need someone to feed into your ego and your own happenings. It's YOUR life - they don't care. If you have a problem, talk to Jacqueline about it. If you say you UNDERSTAND why, then LET IT GO. Don't harp on it with other people.

Those are my thoughts.

Peace out.