June 7, 2010

The Real Housewives of New Jersey 6

So here we are in episode 6 - starting off with Teresa and her spoiled daughter, Gia.  Today, she's reading for a movie staring Christian Slater.  Theresa's out in the waiting area with the rest of the parents talking about her great her daughter is, while Gia's bombing the audition.  Like sweetheart, you need to have more than just a cute face and an "I'm a Hollywood actress" attitude to make it as a five-year-old...dahling.

Christopher got a promotion at the Brownstone, now having the same responsibilities as his father.  I completely understand the Manzo's position in being aghast that Danielle is now going around telling people the Brownstone kicked her out.  This is a family business that is reputable in New Jersey.  They have every right to want to stay away from Danielle and any drama she brings.  AND, for that 40-year-old ex-con to call a 20-year-old boy a "spineless faggot" just shows you "jailtime can't buy you class."

Here we are at Chateau with Jacqueline when Kim G walks in for a pedicure.  Next to Jacqueline.  What are the odds?  Seems a bit weird, no?  WHAT a coincidence, Bravo.  Jacqueline wants nothing to do with the conversation that Kim G wants to have right now about the Brownstone incident.  I think Jacqueline is right to give warning to Kim G, though she says "I'm so glad it's your problem and not mine."

Danielle is having her first "adult" birthday party, though I don't know what that means just yet.  Kim expresses her unhappiness with how Danny called Chris a faggot and of course, Danielle has to get on the defensive.  Like, CHILL woman - and listen to what other people are saying to you.  Danielle - listen, let's get real.  1. You didn't talk to Danny about how you feel with him using that word.  b) You sound COMPLETELY ignorant by saying, "He wasn't calling a gay man a faggot."  That's like saying "He wasn't calling a black man the N-word."  I MEAN GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN.  Sure, it didn't come out of your mouth, but he was part of YOUR entourage.  There's a saying: You tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are."  Biotch.

Danielle  is SO CONCERNED with the Manzo's it's like borderline obsession.  The G sisters are outside talking to Danielle about how she needs to get over things and move on and all she's concerning herself with is her "allies" and what kind of satisfaction the Manzo's are going to get with her being attacked at her birthday party.  Ding-Dong: They don't CARE about you, honey.  They don't.  You live in a really bizarre convoluted self-obsessed world.  You're delusional. She cannot stand to be feel stupid.  She cannot stand to feel backstabbed, even when people aren't backstabbing.  She cannot take any negative feedback, even if it's constructive.

Dina says that she's going to have a talk with Danielle - especially after Danielle caused a scene at the Brownstone.  She's absolutely right in saying that the event was NOT about Danielle, but about a little child with cancer.

Back to Teresa.  They're at Gia's agent's office.  She is letting the Guidice's know that Gia's "jersey accent" is what's not getting her parts.  I think the agent should just say "Your daughter isn't going to be an actress because she is not good" - but alas, the agent wants more money, honey.  So on with the vocal coach we go!

Back at Danielle's...let's feel bad for her.  She's sitting there talking to her dogs.  But really, she's talking to America.  "I'm on camera, people -- hear me out!" So Kim G comes over and I can't believe this woman still deals with her.  Currently, Danielle is upset because Ashley, an 18-year-old, mind you, is setting up Facebook Hate Pages for Danielle Staub.  Look, Danielle - I understand your frustration with everyone turning against you, but honestly - you did this to yourself.  I'm sorry, but you did. And FACEBOOK?!  "Terroristic?" I mean - this is a TEENAGER you're complaining about.  Don't you have young daughters to care for?  DANIELLE FEELS THREATENED?  I mean, cmon.  No one is friends with Tony Sopranos over there.  And, even if they were, no one is going to do anything to you.  It wouldn't exactly be a cold case file, you dumbass.  You want to arrest this girl?  What's WRONG with you?

Bottagra restaurant!  Funny story about this place.  We, the bridesmaids of one Miss Danielle Cervone nee Harth, threw a bridal shower for her here.  The owner of this place, Rob, is uber hot.  Well, I completely embarrassed myself in front of him with a cheesy pick-up line which he didn't even like, get - so that was a really fun slash low point for me.  Moving on, at lunch with Teresa, Jacqueline says that she got a call letting her know that Danielle is going around telling people that "supposobly" Ashley left a threatening message on her Facebook page saying she was going to kill her and she's having the police come to the house to arrest her.  Teresa is in shock and waits patiently while Jacqueline asks Ashley to come to Bottagra.  Fun Fact: Three minutes from my parents' house!  Fact #2:  That is NOT the Bottagra parking lot.  WHAT'S FUNNY IS THAT BEFORE I PUT "SUPPOSEBLY" IN QUOTES BECAUSE I COULDN'T BELIEVE A WOMAN HER AGE SAYS THAT WORD INCORRECTLY - AND IN THIS SCENE SHE JUST SAID WITH AIR QUOTES "SUPPOSUBLY SHE'S GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU."  ah, that was weird!!  Honestly, Ashley is 18 - like, get over it Danielle.

Why is Danielle shopping with Danny?  Danielle likes to hang out with Danny because he probably wants to fuck her, if they don't already, and she likes having that power.  So while she's out shopping, Dina calls Danielle and Danielle plays stupid about "Who's Dina?"  Like, YOU ONLY KNOW ONE DINA AND YOU OBSESS OVER HER, so let's cut the shit.  In that moment, you can just SEE Danielle's heart racing.  Danielle is seriously delusional if she thinks that with everything going on right now, Dina is calling to talk in order to apologize to her.  That's the funniest fucking shit I've ever seen.  Apologize for WHAT? So now she's saying that she would forgive if Dina apologized.  Puhlease, being friends with the Manzo's again is ALL DANIELLE wants in life.  She doesn't even know what she hates them for.  She hates them because they hate her.  That's all.  Her stomach is telling her "don't count on it." -- listen to your stomach.  And also listen to it when it says to eat a cheeseburger.

Ashley's creating a bit of drama around this Danielle drama.  She's counting how many people are on her side vs. Danielle's.  I mean, you're showing Derrick how you're an immature teenager right now.   Just drop it.

Caroline is inviting everyone for dinner.  I love that even the kids are helping out in the kitchen!  What great family values!  Teresa is late, as per usual.  The family brings up a good point about how last season Danielle didn't like it when Joe said "gay" meanwhile her friend is calling a young man a "faggot."  Oh well.  Let's get to the good stuff.  Dina and Danielle!   Dina's basically going to tell her to fuck off out of her life.  Danielle is expecting an apology.  Let the games begin.
I really wish Danny had better things to do with his time than sit in a fucking parking lot waiting for Danielle's call.  Like, what's Dina going to do? Kill you with ladybugs?  With Grandma Wrinkles?

Dina: Not here to attack you in any way shape or form.  If you have a guard up, you can put it down.  You're on a spiritual path and that's good - and I want to move forward.  The only thing in my life that's making me upset right now is you in it.  I want no part in you anymore.

Danielle's not having it.  "Oh no no no.  You called me.  To ask me to come here. To tell me that you don't want to be around me.  Who does that?"

Dina doesn't want to rehash the past  and just wants to move forward.  Dina is just trying to set her boundries and she has every right to do so.  Danielle can't sit there and just LISTEN TO WHAT DINA IS SAYING because it's NOT kissing her ass.

OH BOY OH BOY This is frustrating!

See you next week!