Jersey Shore - Season 3, Episode 3

I'm going to list just my general observations and reactions instead of a play-by-play.  The point is for you to read these blogposts and think "Totally, I totally thought the same thing!" and "Yes, that's the exact quote - awesome."  Here we go.

• I honestly can't believe that they go tanning even though they live at the beach.  Does anyone have thoughts?
• "I think Pauly's really black. Like, seriously. Because when he tans, he's really black." - Snooki
• "Someone needs to kiss my ass, ASAP" - Snooki, while her ass is in the fridge trying to get rid of the itching from the cream she used for tanning.
• Sammi really needs to fucking chill. Ron-Ron isn't doing anything wrong - why is Sammi so motherfucking immature? Not only that, but she's been up his fucking ass this whole season!
• "I need a mind condom, because I'm getting mind fucked" - Ronnie
• I love how Ron always references a "grown woman."  It's what a man NEEDS and WANTS.  Sammi is NOT that and therefore, he has no respect for her.  She needs to make like an independent woman and throw her hands up.
• Sammi apologizing to Nicole was actually a really nice thing to witness.  JWoww is going to be really mad about it.
• "You wanna be friends with Sam? Go right ahead.  Will I ever be friends with her again? Fuck her." - JWoww
• What is Deena wearing to the club, a nightgown?
• Deena falling off of the stage and not being able to stand is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.
• "Deena likes to call herself The Holiday, and I like to call her the Holiday Inn." - The Situation
• Wait, who took Deena home?
• HAHA PAULA - REMEMBER WHEN SHE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA
• Snooki falls down as well, this is just hysterical. Everyone is falling and getting picked up like little dolls; then falling back down.  It's too much.
• All of these blasts from the pasts are just too good.  This is perhaps the best episode so far.
• JWoww is such a hypocrite. Like, she's pissed he has a girlfriend, but SHE has a boyfriend!  The girl who is "blowing up his spot" is  a big a-hole.
• Does anyone else think that JWoww and Snooki have gotten it on before?
• JWoww peeing behind the bar is just foul.
• Sammi isn't really drunk, by the way.  She's making the wah-wah-woe-is-me bullshit happen.
• Danielle the Stalker being spotted at Karma and then putting her drink in Pauly's face is CRAZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY.  This bitch is no joke.
• "Seaside is so beautiful, look at the garbage." - Pauly D.
• "My girl is pretty DTF tonight.  She's sending DTF signals. My DTF-meter is at a 10." - Vinny
• "Paula is reading off the charts on the DTF meter." - The Situation
• Condom on the rug. Funny.
• Why was Paula wearing a sports bra to da club?
• I really like Vinny's explanations of Ron's laughs.  He's such a cutie patootie that Vinny.
• What is GOING ON WITH SNOOKI with this mexican blanket.
• "Snooki's drinking is out of control." - Vinny. He says she drinks from 11am to the wee hours of the morning.
• "This isn't like law school, this is a t-shirt shop." - Snooki
• "You know what's a good time? Taking a shot off your wife." - Snooki, while at the bar after work. Drinking. With old people she doesn't know.
• "Nicole is smashed right now. She's on like a 24 hour binger." - JWoww
• "After I took shots with the old couple, the whole day just went blank."
• Dude, you know what's a good time?  Watching Snooki be this insanely wasted during the day.  When these assholes are drunk at night and falling off of stages, it's fine by me for the most part, because it's at night, you're at da club - and I actually expect for you to get wiggity-wasted.  But, during the day -- Man, during the day is not always expected and therefore puts the Awesome Meter off the charts.
• I'm highly anticipating the end of the commercials (I'm live, sadly) so that I can watch the real version of this: http://www.ihavezlatathoughts.com/2010/07/snooki-gets-arrested-so-does-her-poof.html
• Snooki is running down the boardwalk asking 'Where is the beach?' -- it's too funny.  Snooki wants to go into the ocean with her Gucci bag.  
• If I was as drunk as Snooki, I would have just passed out or vomitted all over the place.  The fact that she was able to run around and ask where the beach was, be mean to cops and be taken to the station in just one lime green slipper makes me so proud of lil' Snook.

Team Snooki!