Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Shilamida Kupershteyn

Why does bravo tease me & only show 10 minutes of real housewives of Beverly hills on Thursday so my DVr picks it up & then I get a moment of joy followed by disappointment when I only see a little of it?

Cyril Khersonsky

If you can complete medical school, why can't you be on time?

Daniel Modell

Instead of building a gigantic wall with two electrified fences on the Mexican border, can we please build one between church and state?

Jennifer Caluri

Xanax and espresso is like trying to get pregnant while on birth control. But my migraine is totally gone

Jennifer Smith Cincu

Ok… as I send my final rounds of thank you notes from the holiday I am seriously contemplating my no thank you card = no gift from me rule this year. I just hate reaching out and saying.. so hey, did you get the $50, $100...whatever amount thing I sent you? Really?

Ben Schwartz

For the 4th year in a row my film about the sun dancing to Wham's "Everything She Wants" was not accepted to Sundance.

Ben Mehl

‎"Party in the USA" should be the theme song for teenage pregnancy.

Kizzy-Kay Graham

When is someone going to do "Shit White Guys Say To Asian Girls?"

Zlata Faerman

My husband, the smartass:
Zlata: "The clocks stopped, when did that happen?"

Alex: "I'm no fucking psychic, but I'd say at 5:24am"

Maggie DiVita

Has successfully masqueraded yoga pants as black dress pants all week at work #winning

Aly Walansky

Was just pitched a HUNTING KNIFE as a potential Valentine's Day gift. Discuss.

Aly Walansky shared Dr. Dot's photo.

Becky Pratt

Starting off the New Year right! New Year, new do. Donating to Locks of Love! :)

David Moye

This woman has priorities: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/05/woman-shot-in-eye-finishes-beer_n_1187078.html?ref=weird-news&ir=Weird+News

Woman Shot In Eye Finishes Beer Before Accepting Medical Treatment

www.huffingtonpost.com

Talk about one for the road. The Winnipeg Free Press reports that authorities found a 30-year-old woman who, after being shot in the eye, refused to accept any medical treatment until after she finished her beer.