October 27, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Wondering exactly how drunk I was last night? I dropped my burrito on the floor at Gringos Locos, picked it up and ate some more.

Were you just as shocked as I was to learn that Meatloaf was still alive?

I guess the storms going to be bad- never saw them take all the billboards down along the Express way.

I went to a party last night in a space-themed onesie with a sippy cup full of go-go juice, so yeah, I'd say things are going pretty well.

You know you're drunk when you have to squint one eye to understand what's going on around you.

I realized that I've been married to Spillion for 76 days ... Take that Kim kardashian and kris hummpy face!!!

was just on the phone with a Time Warner Cable customer service rep in the Philippines who has never been to New York but wanted to know if it's true we have a lot of flash mobs here.

I'm a REALLY aggressive food sharer. I just want you to taste it because it's so good! Come on. Just take ONE bite. Why the fuck won't you try it?!

i must have woken up on the wrong side of life.

I would like the ability to grow out my bangs without giving up. I hope to find the strength one day

is it just me, but every time I get an email from barack or michelle for one tinY sEcond I think they're actually emailing me.

When it says "do not mix with alcohol" on the cough syrup with codeine bottle - that's just a suggestion, right? #happening

There are some Friday nights when I just really wish TGIF was still on

That awkward moment when a guy doesn't understand your joke.
That awkward moment when a guy doesn't understand your joke.