August 27, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention


Late Night Version:


Why do advertisers think I want to like barbershops? Seriously, 3 different Facebook ads in 2 days. Is this because of the Italian husband thing?

You know you're out of shape when I can smell you while zipping past you on rollerblades! #Traumatized#SilverCometTrailProblems

Watching "Romeo and Juliet" on Broadway starring Justin Guarini and Elvin from "The Cosby Show." Oh, and Orlando Bloom. — with Alecia Wesner.

The ironing instructions on linen clothes may as well say "Good luck with this, asshole" and then have a picture of the middle finger

You know you're a speech therapist when you're the only one on the plane who's not upset about sitting next to a 3 year old child 

Welcome to Newark... Enjoy your stay! #Ewr
Welcome to Newark... Enjoy your stay! #Ewr