January 7, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

How cool is it that we don't have to take our temperature the same way babies do? Can I get an Amen!

Hip Hop Abs/Fat Burning Cardio...done! It was a fun and sweaty dance based workout. I can guarantee that Jay-Z will not be asking me to be in his next music video ‪#‎uncoordinated‬

Marriage is for suckers. Smart women have their kids with live in nannies and endless personal freedom.

I'm judging by the fact that my teeth feel like they have sweater vests on that it's time to shower. This week.

Um, no thanks, Facebook. I don't need to see my "Year in Review." Let me summarize: cats, food, wine, stupidity, more cats. The end.

Is it weird that I get cherry tomatoes in my salad just for color.. as in I don't eat them, I just like how is looks...

Some words of advice for the gym New Year's resolution people: here's how we can get through the next month or so together. Talking, texting, reading, surfing, Grinding or anything else you are doing on your phone or device is not working out. Neither is reading the newspaper or walking around aimlessly in circles over and over again. Oh, and hate to tell you but staring in the mirror for minutes at a time lifting your shirt up does not somehow make abs magically appear over your heaving, doughy gut. Those people you see doing these things? Yeah, they've looked that out of shape since they started a year (or more) ago. So, in summary, no need to even go to the gym if you plan on hogging the machines with these offenses. Many thanks and I'll text you later.

When I look at Ryan Seacrest I see the Geico lizard. Thats all.

what I can deduce from my current FB feed - there were some really really exciting games on yesterday and everyone wants to be in a band and call it Polar Vortex

Ooooooohhh... So now I know why Santa leaves his house ONCE A FRIGGEN YEAR!

Where can I find this today, and does this come in men's?

Just to let you know how cold it is.....my skull cap stuck to my hair cause I was sweating and it froze

The last time it was this cold in in central park NYC it was 1896!

America, can we make a protein drink that doesn't taste like someone dumped a handful of silt into a can of Ensure?

people, STOP INSTAGRAMMING YOUR WEATHER APPS! we get it, it's cold. no filter can make that look pretty.

You know it's cold in Manhattan when NY1 ain't just the name of the local news channel, it's also the temperature. ‪#‎polarvortex‬

you guys i am amNewYork famous. that's almost tumblr famous.