Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Andrew Litow

Guy Fieri and Rachel Ray should should make each other dinner and spare the rest of us.

Aly Walansky

As I sprinkle cheese on my Trader Joe's vegan enchiladas, I always feel oddly like I'm compromising their virginity.

Jen Khoury

Dear unnamed coworker:
Thanks for pointing out I've gained weight! SUPER APPRECIATED!
Signed,
the person slashing your car tires later.

Alina Lipkin

Got to come in an hour later today...that means an extra hour of creating excuses for not going to the gym

Meagan Murphy

Woke myself up snoring on the train, slipped and face-planted into the revolving doors at my office (I'm fine, just my ego is bruised) and then pulled a muscle sneezing...because Monday.

Katrina King

The guy at Starbucks started my drink when he saw me walk in... Sign of a problem??

Jen Khoury

HOLY FUCK! THE OSCARS! Jk. I don't give a fucking cow shit.