March 11, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Aly Walansky
LGA TSA guy, upon seeing my leopard suitcase: "I bet you have all sorts of accessories to go with that..." - um...thanks? And, well, yes.

I was in the bathroom and someone asked for toilet paper. I was tempted to say, "I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square." But I didn't in fear that I would waste a perfectly good Seinfeld reference on a stranger.

With all that is going on in the world, it's important that we focus on what's important and share our thoughts. I just have this to say: Kelsey Grammar, stop reproducing.

I just asked my dog, out loud, if he believes in himself.

I need a vacation.

I honestly have no idea how humans engage in "mile high club" activities. Enticing, sure - but I can barely successfully use airplane bathrooms for their intended purpose. Yet another example of porn telling lies.

Seriously though...this high waisted mom jeans fashion trend needs go away as quick as it's coming this spring. They make people look awful.

I know this is totally inappropriate, but does anyone else wonder if the missing Malaysian flight ended up on the island from Lost?

Things I think about at 5:45am on my way to the airport: is There DNA in eye crust?

No idea how to change the clock in my car to reflect the time change.

When someone asks me if I want to go somewhere, my first response is usually "can I wear pajamas?"

When family members try to connect on linkedin, don't you wonder why your genetic link wasn't enough of a connection?

I'm not sure what's harder to understand, "True Detective" or Juan Pablo. He's the WORST.

And, again, Delta has vastly oversold their flight and is begging for volunteers with "flexible" travel plans. "We'll give you a $600 travel voucher! Visit your mom for mother's day!" - MY MOTHER IS WHERE I'M TRYING TO GO RIGHT NOW.

Gina Carrano feeling successful
It's always nice to receive well-timed positive feedback from the editor of your publication when the pile of work you have in front of you is higher than Lindsay Lohan on her first day out of rehab.