April 2, 2014
Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention
Do you know what's funny about most April Fools jokes? Yea, me neither.
Attacked by poison oak. What a lazy excuse for a plant. In the meantime, someone, anyone put me in on a 5150.
"Dyslexic" should be easier to spell.
Worst fear: my water breaking at work today and nobody believing me.
Everyone have a happy and safe I Sincerely Regret Ever Trusting You Day
My version of packing: Unpack from LA into washing machine. Dry. Remove. Throw in suitcase. Add a sweater. Packed for Memphis
I'm so glad none of y'all air your dirty laundry on the Internet.
While I was in London someone installed a cupcake ATM in New York City. It's like the city was calling me back home.
Sometimes at meetings I like to play a game with myself called 'Guess which meds they're on.'
Let's name our sandwich chain after the dirtiest thing in new york city. Eat Fresh®
"And, lo, the sickness descended upon him like a thief in the night forcing him to remain in bed and demand only sizzling rice soup and In-N-Out burger." - 1 Hesitations 4:20
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