May 9, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth A Mention

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Cause he can never never land! That joke never gets old...

Just listened to Hilary Duff music on purpose.
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
It's still playing.

There should be signs on subway platforms that say NO PRACTICING. If you suck at the weird half flute, half guitar harmonica trumpet, stay home and spare the rest of us.

I categorize humans based on if they put the grocery cart back where it belongs or hide it between cars.

Do you think bagels think about me as much as I think about them?

How bad is it that I don't change the station when Avril Lavigne's song Hello Kitty comes on. On second thought don't answer that.

So, anyone miss Jay Leno? Yeah didn't think so.

Just found out via The New York Times that there is a species of bird called "great tit." So, if you had two, you would have a pair of great tits. I'll go ahead and put myself in detention since I'm 12.

"Call me... wishmail" -- a cool-ass genie way ahead of his time