Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people make me laugh:

John Bart

42 mins · New York, NY · 

Nothing like my phone blowing up at 3:38am with prank calls and then a woman having a seizure and collapsing RIGHT in front of me on the escalator at Penn Station to remind me it's in fact Monday.

Marc William

1 hr · 

I just Googled "who gives a fuck" . I wasn't in the search results.

Meryl Serouya

2 hrs · Instagram · 

Excuse me, France. What exactly is a "course advised for women???"

Unlike

Mark Marino

11 hrs · 

I just attempted to make Samoas. It would have been cheaper and easier for me to just join the Girl Scouts.

Sara Press

1 hr · 

Did you know that if your 3yr old flushes his toothbrush down the potty then it will get stuck and you'll need a whole new toilet? Found that out this morning. Yay!

Lauryn Kahn

17 mins · Los Angeles, CA · 

Instagram: With the right angle and filter you can trick people into thinking you're happy!

Tyler DeAngelo

Just now · New York, NY · 

Dear iPhone. I will never use the word "ducking."

Dorothy Robinson Scott

1 hr · Union, NJ · 

I have developed really strong, complex emotions about Whole Foods.

Janine Califano

2 hrs · 

Fun fact: between the hours of 5-7am, trash collectors slam down the cans extra hard.