August 6, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh!

welp just found out my work buddy is an Eagles fan so there goes that friendship

UPDATE: It's still not Friday.
We'll continue to track this story as it develops.

You know you're desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of google.

Arguing with a fool only proves that there are two

Conversations at the gym:
"Have you squatted before?"
"Where did you learn?"
"I tried that 30-day booty challenge, which ended up being a three-day booty challenge."

I don't know how to compose an angry status update without sounding like a spoiled child, white trash or Kanye West.

9 mins · Edited · 
Saying sorry doesn't make you right or wrong, it means you value your relationship more than your ego. Besides, apologies are like handjobs, it's the least you can do. ‪#‎truth‬

I'm constantly accepting friends on here, then checking out their timelines, and then defriending them.

You've got bunions ... and you're having a baby! ‪#‎babysteps‬